Telling the World...

I know this is where I'm supposed to talk about projects & inspirations... but at the moment I'm inspired to address something in the news.

Tonight I was sickened by the comments made about Autistic children & their parents. [click here to be brought up to speed] I was immediately brought to tears & I can't even read the story again without feeling sick. It really stung. I think why it stung so much is because we live it & struggle with it every single day. And unless you've walked a mile in our shoes, you shouldn't dare criticize how we're parenting, question the disposition of my child, or make a mockery of his challenges.

I thank God for giving me such a laid back personality because as a mother of an Autistic child, it really comes in handy. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to deal with a tantrum in front of an audience... and I'm sure they thought I was just a bad mom oblivious to my child's needs. But in reality, I'm a mother who knows my child better than anybody & I gingerly handle every single situation, knowing his heart, his ego & his future is in my hands.

Since before Brett was 2 years old, we've heard it all from one end of the spectrum to the other. He's been in various therapies since he was 2 1/2, seen multiple doctors, a neurologist & a developmental pediatrician. After all our evaluations & the 100's of forms we've filled out, everything seems to be close, but no diagnosis is a perfect match (although if you want to start somewhere, you can check out Atypical Autism, PDD, etc.). I went from not wanting to know, to wanting to know, and now that we don't know for sure... I'm happy to be there, too.

Not putting an official label on him leaves plenty of room for wonderful surprises. It makes life's little accomplishments that much sweeter. When he spontaneously tells you "I love you", you feel it in every bone of your body because you know that showing expression & emotion is supposed to be a deficit. And not to mention, for the first 3 1/2 years of his life he didn't talk. Instead of just wanting to brag that your son got his 1st soccer goal, you just want to cry tears of joy & you can look at that picture of his gloaty little face over & over again, and still want to cry [photo top right]. Instead of just being proud of your son for going off the high-dive at the pool, you think about the 100's of things that you're shocked didn't discourage him & smile knowing he's stronger than you think he is. When you hear that the coach stopped t-ball practice to point out to the rest of the kids what your son did right as 3rd baseman, you thank God for that boost in his self-esteem & that it got to happen in front of his peers. For a little guy who has always been developmentally behind, you swoon at those moments that he seems right on track, if not ahead.

Parenting has its own struggles. You don't get looks of sympathy because it's very unlike any disability that has physical traits. You usually come off looking like a bad parent, or worse, that your child is a bad kid. It's schmoozing with other parents & wondering if they're wondering if there's something wrong with him. It's wondering if you should say something, and if when you do if you said too much. It's wondering when & if you should intervene when you watch him struggle with his peers. It's pretty much just wondering everything.
I've seen teachers, coaches & even therapists who I'm sure thought they had it all figured out... until Brett came along. :) I love people that "get him" without really getting "it". I don't even have words to express gratitude for those type of people. The people who haven't necessarily been told, but don't make assumptions, either. They just treat him like a regular kid, offering extra help when it's needed & sensing that anything less would be disrespectful. I love seeing the excitement in other people, when Brett accomplishes something new & something that looked like it was stacked against him. I love knowing that others are rooting for him.

Our lives have more challenges than others, but we also have the sweet rewards that come with those challenges. We know that our life wouldn't be the same without our sweet Brett & we know all those who get to know Brett won't be the same after meeting him. He is an amazing kid, we won't let anyone tell us otherwise!