What is this? I'm not sure exactly. But this came out of Brett's backpack. It had "Mom" written all over it (literally, not figuratively) ... so I think it's some sort of Mother's Day collage he made for me at school.
Dissecting it ... it is probably 1/2 a roll of tape. And an entire Pottery Barn catalog. [He knows me well] It is so big [and tall] that I can't quite capture it in photographs ... but I did my best. It is ... hilarious. It is ... a total mess. And I love it.
Brett is on the "Autism Spectrum" [you can read about him here, there & everywhere]. Almost his entire life I have spent trying to stay on top of him to say & do the right things. Stay on task, follow a direction, say the right words, in the right order. He only gets an hour & a 1/2 of therapy a week ... but I am his full-time, live-in therapist. It has become a way of life. I don't think of myself as a "smothering" parent ... but a few weeks ago at an appointment, the developmental pediatrician did accuse [in a very nice way] me of "facilitating a lot".
But, I ... thought I was ... Yikes.
As parents, we spend a lot of time & energy trying to keep Brett on task. Even at school he has a Para who helps him with that. It doesn't really occur to me that he doesn't have much time to just "be", just "do" on his own; to not be corrected, directed and analyzed. Brett started to talk at 3 1/2 ... and even then, it was "work". Working on labeling objects, working on articulation, working on pronouns & prepositions, working on figuring out what he was saying. We have many many stories of Davis & Libby and the funny things they've said as toddlers, we hardly have any of Brett. We just never really went through that phase where we were able to sit back, relax & giggle.
Well... clearly, this project he brought home was Brett "being & doing" Brett. And it makes me giggle. Would I have winced at the amount of tape he was using? Yes. Would I have stopped him from making this creation, handed him scissors & tried to get down to the bottom of what it was he was trying to do? Yep. That's me - "the facilitator". Would I have laughed as hard & come to this realization that he needs more time to just BE, if I had intervened from the get-go? No. I wasn't there ... and it turned out alright. Funny. Messy. Lots of tape. But I can only imagine what went through his mind as he proudly folded this monstrous thing up & stuffed this into his backpack ... knowing it was ALL HIM, he was FREE TO DO & it turned out PERFECT, just as HE planned. :)
And that was my gift, unwrapped ... both literally & figuratively.
:: part of Tuesdays Unwrapped on Chatting at the Sky ::
"documenting your messy, lovely, unexpected gifts of the small and ordinary nature." - Emily, Chatting at the Sky
4 comments:
OH. MY. GOSH. That creation just made my day. How lovely of him to put in so much work for a gift for you. That is lovely. Nice post. This is a great reminder to just let go and let our little ones be who they are even if they do use up all of the tape in the house.
I can recall Helen Hartnett letting her kid just be---they did all sorts of creative things.
But, I always had a plan, a goal---learning to let kids just be is hard to do.
My favorite Brett story is him teaching Roman how to say trolley. "Can you say 'tro-wey?'"
That is the most amazing creation I think I've ever seen!
this is a beautiful post. that little gift he gave you was like a mirror for you to see Brett and yourself in a different light. A gift indeed. Thanks for unwrapping it for us!
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